2020 Gratitude List.

Bonne Journee!

This is an inspired post.

So, 2020 is slowly winding down and my word what a year it has been. If this year was made into a movie, it would definitely be a blockbuster. (horror or fantasy, or both.)

But we’ve all made it this far, and there’s a whole lot to be grateful for.  So, having seen, and been motivated by  this Gratitude list article by shugarythoughts, (you should definitely check it out).  I decided to give it a go here.

2020 has really seen us experience a paradigm shift like never before. We are now living in a world of ‘new normals’, practically every facet of our daily lives has experienced some form of change. For businesses, adapt or die has never been more relevant. For everyday people, well, what can I say. The Washington Post recently asked people to sum up 2020 in a phrase and this particular phrase below really sums it all up.…

 

We’ve had to adapt to new ways of doing things, working from home especially (this one I can totally get used to, Lagos traffic is not for the faint hearted) has been a revelation! I remember when the idea of working from home was floated at my place of work some time ago before the pandemic, the hierarchy thought it was impracticable. But here we are, working from home into the foreseeable future.

 

 

And what’s an extraordinary year without anti-vaxxers’ conspiracy theories, the occasional Donald Trump meltdown and an incredible tiger woods comeback story. What a year folks, what a year!

So, what are the things I’m grateful for in 2020. Quite a few things actually,

 

A lot of things that we’ve done this year have been in spite of the curve balls that the events of the year has thrown our way.  For this I’m grateful for God’s grace in our lives. I’ve always believed that grace is such an underrated thing.

I’m grateful for the time I spent with my family. Truth is, I can’t remember the last time we spent 4 plus months at a stretch together. So, it was great to spend quality time with the family.

I’m grateful for the friendships that withstood and were even strengthened during these trying times.

I’m grateful for the time and opportunity to learn things about myself. 2020 has thought me that tiny hitches along the way shouldn’t be reason enough to give up entirely on things (this is what happens when perfectionist meets expert procrastinator). There were times during the lockdown that I’d start a 1-month workout routine, miss one or two days for one reason or the other and just scrap the entire thing. It is so important to strive for progress, not perfection.

I’m grateful for the little wins too. This year has thought me how important it is to celebrate the little wins, everything that you’ve put in your time and effort to, and eventually bears fruit, is worth celebrating. We can’t let anyone take that away from us.

Grateful for music, amongst all the uncertainties, music was my one true companion really. Music is indeed the language of soul. One of the hobbies I picked up this year is discovering new songs from soundtracks of movies; I’ve found some gems through this medium. ( and thank you Shazam!). Also shout out to all the friends that send you songs they think you’ll love!

Honorable mention is food. I’m grateful for good food. And I look forward to having greater savory adventures when we get back some semblance of normalcy. How long away that is, nobody can really tell.

I’m grateful for all the healthcare workers around the world, that have put their body on the line, they’ve been at the forefront of this pandemic, and some have paid the ultimate price. They are the real MVPs.

In the past few weeks, I’ve learnt a valuable lesson about doing things ‘as e dey hot’, and not falling into my very comfortable procrastinator’s nest. So, I’m going to use this tweet below to shake some tables. (this one’s for my ‘new year resolutions’ gang)

So, I don’t exactly have twenty, and the points above have been written in no particular order, but there’s my gratitude list!

So, what are you grateful for?

Let me know below!

 

Oh, and this is my mood for the rest of the year!

Wishing you my esteemed occasional readers a Merry Christmas and a blissful new year in advance. Sugar, spice, and everything nice!😉

Some Type of Way: Birthday Musings

 

I woke up this morning feeling some type of way.

I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on at this point in time, it will be that its been a very…eventful year.  Pretty sure no one imagined 2020 would turn out like this. I mean, we should have taken the hint that we were in for one hell of a ride when the year pretty much started with the passing of Kobe Bryant.  And it’s been this or that since then, and we've still got 4 months to go. Welp.

But...we keep it positive.

It’s my birthday today (yaayyyy 🎂) and I had decided yesterday that when I wake up this morning, I’d take out time to reflect on what has been and what is yet to come. On how the events of the year has shaped our lives, the way we think, do business etc. on what the future holds and all those other mushy mushy things like that.

Then I saw the news of Chadwick Boseman’s passing and I just went back to bed. Waking up to read the full story on his very private battle with cancer, really helped put a lot of things in perspective for me, about this year, about life in general, in all its brevity and frailty.

Following the reactions, I started thinking of  how I’ve seen so  much of ‘live your life, life is short’ after someone,  especially relatively  young folks, pass, and how I just have these bunch of ideas on how to ‘live my life, to the fullest’ swirling in my head, and how I, along with a lot of other young people, always fall back in to the fallacy of there being more time.

On the bright side, I got up and was determined to write this, and here we are, a step in the right direction I would say.

On a personal note, my 2020 has been very ‘up and down-ish’.  I’m grateful for some of the experiences that I have gone through, some of them have taken their toll, with very rude awakenings. I struggled a lot during the pandemic-induced lock-down, so I had to do a lot of growing, emotionally, spiritually, physically (bare minimum workouts became a struggle). But I’d like to think I’ve come out of it all with tougher skin, I really do hope the rest of the year takes it easy on us. Lol.

Lessons have been learnt though, imagining, communicating, doing, the list goes on and on. I am learning about how important it is to talk through your emotions, even if it’s with yourself. I am learning how to place better value on time, how to cherish the things that are most important in life: family, friends, building lasting relationships, creating beautiful memories, and above all, leaving a mark, finding, and fulfilling your purpose.

Going forward, I hope to take a leaf from the incredibly resilient life that Chadwick Boseman has lived. Up to this point, he was fighting silent battles, something I know all about, with the biggest smile on his face. He had the MAMBA MENTALITY.  I recently watched two of his movies, one of which was made within the time frame which he was battling his ailment, ‘Marshall’ and ‘42’ ( both excellent movies btw, highly, highly recommend,) and I remember thinking to myself ‘wow, what a performance, this guy puts in work on his craft!’.

To now know what we know about his illness, puts things in a considerable new light. You really do not know the battles people are facing deep within.  Most times, a lot of pain is being masked with smiles. That singular act of kindness to a stranger might just be doing a world of good.

Looking back, I’d like to think that he has lived a life of purpose. He has inspired millions of young people around the world, while doing what he was made to do. In his relatively short stay in this lifetime, he has been able to touch so many lives positively. That is GREATNESS.

 

So, I hope that when you see this, it inspires you to go out there and start getting things done.

Be like Nike and...

 

I speak to you as I reflect on the changes that I want to make in my own life too.

I hope you love and love deeply; I hope you find happiness in every waking moment.

I hope you put in the work to achieve the things you want to, both little and great.

This is my Candid reflection.

 

 

 

On a lighter note,

I’ve received loads of calls and messages today and my heart is pretty filled with Joy. I always try to celebrate my birthdays in any little way I can, but this year, Covid 19 had other plans. But there has really not been a dull moment today, I’ve had the widest grin spread across my face for the better part of today. Thank you. Words of affirmation can really do wonders!

oh and Anon sent a package and I started reconsidering what my love languages really are!😆 (thank you anon!)

I hope you all are celebrated!.

That’s all from my end, till i write ( or record) again. ciao!

 

You’re leaving without dropping a like/comment???

The City of a Thousand Lights

Hi there!

 Its been too long...again...

What has dragged me out this time you ask?  a poem!

Yep, you read that right...this is a poem ( or some variation of it), that I recently HAD to write as part of a presentation in the office ( weird isn't it?) and I just thought I should share here. Hopefully this will be the start of a revival for this space! lol.

I've titled this one 'The City of a Thousand lights'....inspiration came from our one and only resident madhouse, the city of Lagos!
Now I must warn you... i'm not much of a poet and this was written  partly out of necessity and frustration from a very long day...lol

But anyways, here goes nothing...

...oh please do leave your thoughts below, and any other experiences you've had in our great city!


the city of a thousand lights


Let me tell you a story about my city
The city that never sleeps.
Millions of dreams and aspirations commuting daily
Ours is a journey that's on repeat.


Lagos comes bearing gifts and promises
Bright lights, the night life, in all its glory
Silver and gold supposedly line the streets.
But you know nothing, until you have experienced it's fury.


The hustle drives us, it's what keeps us going.
On The promise of a better tomorrow, we set our sights. 
It's alluring, it's consuming, it's intriguing, almost spellbinding.
But you never know when the tables may turn, and you start to lose the fight.


The traffic is unforgiving, everyone's trying to get ahead.
Long hours on the road,  is part of the daily routine.
Almost like a war zone, on your bones, the tires will thread.
Best believe  it's a jungle out there, mostly volatile, hardly ever serene.


Eko oni baje, we pray for a better tomorrow.
That our dreams may become our reality.
Where there are no death traps, but rather paved roads to follow
Where our aspirations are valid, in all its totality 


Have you heard of my beautiful city, a city that happens to life!
My city never sleeps, there's always something on the Menu
It is imperfectly perfect, a balance of accord and strife.
I could go on and on, but for now, my story, is to be continued

The Change we seek II: 4 years on.

 

Hi there,

As you have figured now, I’m not a very consistent writer, at all, even though I have a lot of write ups swirling in my head.

But as with most of my other write ups, this, has been inspired by a series of recent, but in this case rather unfortunate events.

I happened to be  going through my blog for old stuff that I wrote a long time ago, mostly just to pass the free time on my hands, then I came across this article I wrote in December 2015, which I titled the change we seek?.

Well, a long time has passed since then, and my opinion on some issues there have…changed.

I have been an ardent observer of our political clime for a long time now, and this is another case of devil’s alternative playing out in front of us. Its election season again and the promises have started flying in the air. Even those that are in power are promising things they ‘will do’,

I was generally impressed with the way Nigerians banded in 2015 to dislodge in my opinion, a very incompetent incumbent. It gave the impression that we as a people are ready to take matters into our own hands, and we finally understood that we have the power to shape our destiny every four years.

In 2015 we took a gamble that hasn’t really paid off, to put it mildly. But here we are again in 2019, faced with potentially the same scenario, bar a few differences.  There are only a few things separating our two major candidates, both are northern Muslim septuagenarians. Unlike what was obtainable in ‘15, never have we been so divided along religious and ethnic lines like in 2015, when one major candidate was a Christian southerner and the other was Muslim northerner.

We’re being asked to choose between the lesser of two evils again. It seems we have not learnt anything from the experiences we had in 2015.

But yet again, it seems our young folks that have shown interest in giving us a credible alternative have thus far not shown enough, what’s the right word or phrase now, ‘political depth’

I had great hope for the so called ‘third force’ when they initially decided to come together to form PACT. Borne out of the yearning for something different, or even something to hold on to.

But from that fracas, nothing was achieved. As a matter of fact, the winner, losers and even the referee of the so called PACT have eventually gone ahead to contest for the same presidency! This decision of theirs has made it easy for me to see things from a realistic  point of view. Maybe they aren’t interested in seeing a better Nigeria, maybe they are only interested in seeing themselves as the ones who will deliver a better Nigeria.

The way the Nigerian political system is today, if you do not have grassroots structure, you can’t possibly expect to win a presidential election. This alone requires a change to the status quo on such a great scale, So I do not understand whether these ‘minority candidates are simply living in denial, or trying to make a dent so that they can upturn in 2023, or trying to boost the C.V, or biting off more than they can chew and realizing a bit late, or as some conspiracy theorist have postulated working to ensure the reelection of the incumbent. There are a million and one reasons I could think of, except the one that matters, which is actually wanting to realistically see Nigeria become a better place.

I was listening to the radio on my way to work the other day, and one of the speakers said that in his recent travels, he has been to the state of origins one of these other ‘third force’ candidates, and spoken to folks that live there. No single poster or banners, most don’t even know that their illustrious son is gunning for the top office in the country.

NIGERIA IS NOT JUST LAGOS AND ABUJA SPRINKLED WITH PORTHARCOURT AND KANO!

 This brings me to the debacle that went down at the just concluded presidential debate. The absence of one of the major candidates at the debate, and the non-participation of the other, despite already being at the venue really helped to put things into perspective that day. As I already had the premonition that both of them would find a way to wiggle out of the debate, I decided to use the time to ‘do something better’ by cheering my favorite team playing a game at that same time. That too unfortunately (for them) didn’t end well.

What does it tell you if the two most likely guys to win, didn’t participate in the debate?

It speaks to the tragic irrelevance of meaningful intellectual discourse in our political clime. It’s a vicious cycle really. They understood that their actions, or inactions will not even put a dent on their political ambition. Why? Couple of reasons I could point to actually…

Things like the high level of voter apathy amongst the educated folks, and because of the vigorous enthusiasm displayed by the average uneducated Nigerian in participating in partisan politics, are some of the reasons why we are where we are today (it’s kind of hard to pronounce actually lol).

We’ll talk about how the current political class has weaponized illiteracy and poverty to be able to keep the masses voting. But that is a story for some other time.

 It went a long way to show two things. One being that these our major candidates don’t rate us at all, and the other being  that Debates and intellectual conversations, however appealing they can be, do not win elections in Nigeria.

 For the benefit of those who don’t know, according to INEC, for you to win the presidential elections, you have to obtain

1. The highest number of vote cast AND

2.  Not less than one quarter of votes cast at the election in each of at least two-thirds of all states in the federation and in the FCT Abuja.

Why this minority candidate have conveniently chosen to ignore this, especially the second one, which emphasizes my point of political outreach is bewildering. Even the incumbent party got to where they are today as a result of an alliance.

It’s not just enough to select a vice presidential candidate from the north, like some have done. (Should take me to this issue of the principle of federal character, but that too is a topic for another day, or year)

So what’s the issue here?

Obviously these third force guys have to have some other goal for running, they confirmed that when they couldn’t band together and keep an agreement and the ‘PACT’ fell apart. Unless they are just using this to announce their presence in the political scene. Either ways.

If we are going to break  the stronghold  of these two major recycling machine parties (I believe it has become clear to us that they are not going to take us to where we want to be) despite all the challenges, the moves for 2023 needs to start happening NOW.

You’ll notice I’m not talking about the elections that are almost upon us, and that is for a good reason. Based on what is obtainable now, there is no point deceiving ourselves that there will be a paradigm shift this year. It is simply not going to happen.

To our current “coalition of 3^rd force”, WHEN you lose, don’t go to sleep, we see you (here in the major cities) we hear what you’re saying and it’s making sense. Start now to iron out your differences, and start now to be active opposition. Start now to build this grassroots’ connection which you so badly lack.

Start to build structure now, if it means putting individual and party resources together, start the coalitions and alliances with the like-minded people now. Start to pull funds now, start to build grassroots’ connections now (need to say this again for proper emphasis), and start to make your intentions known NOW. Don’t wait till the summer of 2022 to come and tell us. Give us a multitude of reasons to be solidly behind you come ’23 (not like we don’t already have enough but you get the idea).

Won’t I give whoever wins amongst the top two candidates a chance to do something, well, I did  here, look where we are now. So I’m already looking at new leadership. Our failsafe plan if/when things don’t get any better in the next four years shouldn’t be to dip into this same cesspool that has been churning out our current political class.  Our current crop of leaders are, to put it mildly, largely underperforming and underwhelming.

It’s easy to seat in the comfort (no light sha) of my home and say this and that. The groundwork is the key here. Start making moves and watch things fall in place.

 

This is my candid opinion. What’s yours?

 

Till inspiration finds me again…sayonara.

 

 

P.S. this article has been in the works for a while, the lack of current updates (things are happening so fast) is completely intentional.

 

 

 

 

"PIERCED AND TATTED"

Hello!

it's been too long...

So I had an experience or a series of experiences recently that has prompted me to share my thoughts on the issue of piercings and tattoos and general body modifications.

 A friend of mine told me  she wanted to get “extra piercings”.

 Then I saw another friend of mine wearing an anklet  or ankle bracelets.

On a personal level, I had previously never given too much thought to people with various forms of body modifications, majorly because I didn't know anyone close enough to me for me to think about it, and also because I have learnt to look beyond the superficial and try to see the heart of the individual I'm communicating with. but in these cases, these were people I knew and have close relationships with. so I had to think seriously about it.

My initial reaction in both scenarios was what actually prompted me to do this write up. Being from a typically conservative African family, growing up, I had been given a skewed view about things like piercings and tattoos and anklets and stuff like that, I was told that it was for “wayward, irresponsible members of society”. 

That has been the African stereotype for things like that, we’ve always been taught to frown upon these “bad influences from the western civilization”. And in all earnest, we can’t deny that a lot of people with questionable characters are drawn, or seem to have an affinity for body modifications and stuff like that.  that could also explain why we have incessant cases of harassment from these SARS officials of young men sporting dreadlocks and being fancifully dressed. they, like the typical Nigerian parent, sees that as tell-tale signs that the individual is 'a bad boy'. (well, some of them are just downright opportunistic and constantly abuse their powers,  as I have witnessed, but that's a story for another day).

In social psychology, a stereotype is an over generalized belief about a particular category of people.  It is usually  based on observations and experiences, that hold water when initially formed, but can be known to dissipate quickly especially nowadays.

My initial reaction to my friend ( even though I didn’t say it out loud) was “why would you want to get extra piercings, don’t you see the kind of people who do that?”. That was the African child in me speaking, that thought process was born out of not just what had been ingrained in me, but what I had partially validated from observations of the society. (and partially invalidated, too)

But a lot of things have changed these days, people’s way of thinking generally, and how society as a whole, as a global community views certain things. ( in other words, we’re now woke).

Now we all know that, people have tattoos or get piercings and stuff like that for different reasons. Some see it as an expression of art,  some see it as a means of telling a story, you know how they say pictures say a thousand words, some as a means of accentuating their beauty, and let's not forget that even in most traditional African society, tattoos and general body modifications, although not as elaborate as what we see today, were/are also part and parcel of the tradition and culture. and there  are so many other reasons. 

We in this part of the world are now breaking free or have broken free from that notion that only ‘bad people” do stuff like that. The question, or the right question is why we are doing that thing., whether or not it does more for your personal beauty is really a personal thing. Personally  I don’t see the need for all those extra things, but that’s just me, different strokes for different folks. 

 I have since  gained a new realization, a new insight, and that's what I'd like to share. I didn't come to this realization until I spoke to yet another friend of mine, I told her about my other friends that intended to get extra piercings, and the anklet case. in all honesty I was almost expecting a similar reaction with the one I first had, but she was quite open about it, she was even considering getting one! (for all the right reasons) lol. I have to admit I was a bit surprised, but that conversation helped me re think the whole thing through, I started to see the issue from a whole new light, and not hold on so strongly to the conservative views of the African man. 

The whole point of this is learning to do things for the right reasons, for logical reasons, that are capable of breaking barriers. The question I should have asked in my head, based on what is obtainable in today’s world ( I mean as per being part of the woke generation) was “ why do you feel the need to do that? Do you feel it accentuates your beauty? Basically are you doing it for the right (or what is considered to be the right) reasons?. and more importantly, are you doing it for you?

That, my people, is my candid opinion.

what's yours?

black history in one beautiful work of art! 

But what really defines beauty for us? That one sef na story for another day.

Till then...sayonara!

Love is a beautiful thing

"kids, this is the story about how I met your mother"

This is a Ted Mosby inspired write up.

I've just finished watching how i met your mother recently, (yes i only just watched it), and I've learnt or rather I've realized quite a few things from the emotional  roller coaster ride of Ted Evelyn Mosby ( he never should have told Barney that middle name truly). it kind of fits at this point in my life and I'd like to share some of the insights for me from the show.

first is, when it comes to relationships, never settle, never settle for less, your whole life will revolve around the individual you eventually decide to be with, so it is important that that person be someone you have a deep connection with. The person you eventually end up with may not " tick all your boxes",  they may not like everything you like and vice versa, but isn't that the beauty of a relationship? its about appreciating your similarities and respecting your differences. After so many years of searching, and settling, Ted came to this realization right before he met his wife. in so many of the previous relationships he had been in, it was mostly out of loneliness, or ( in most cases) an
"I'd just settle for this one, lets see how it goes". That's a NO NO people, you have the right to be with the person you truly deserve, The person who "completes you".

Ted went through a lot of relationships in the series, but always had a thing for Robin. even when she didn't feel the same way, so deep down, he was never fully committed in any of the subsequent relationships he had after Robin, because he hadn't fully let go of Robin. To be able to embrace the future mrs ted mosby, when she finally came, Ted had to fully let go (no matter how hard it was ). that leads me to part of the things i realized. don't hold on to the past, learn to let things go, if its not working out, don't force it. what will be will be.

Relationships nowadays are more like a past time hobby for us young folks, the concept of falling in love has been greatly eroded by our woke generation. but when you finally get to that moment when you're ready, it is important that you remember that every one deserves to love and to love greatly, love is a beautiful thing (don't get it twisted), the most powerful force in the universe. love can be demanding and sacrificial, it requires two people that truly want to be together, its not always a bed of roses. but, when you finally find 'the one'. it all becomes worth it.
(p.s Barney Stinson's awesome!)

Day 26 and the rest...

So this is the final lap of the blog challenge!
It's been a long journey, but we're finally here,

I hope I'll be dropping more posts from now on..

Day 26
Hidden talent?
Hmmm...
I know how to sing very well...in the shower..

Day 27
What's in your closet?
Everything.
Everything I need.
Everything you can think of that you think I need

Day 28
Most embarrassing moment?
Try to avoid that a lot.
There was this one time in junior secondary that I had to do a debate, and I totally flopped,
Its still fresh in my head.

Day 29
A confession?
I can be susceptible to emotional palava...
So I try to avoid drama as much as possible

Day 30
Hopes for your blog?
I hope every youth that visits will be empowered through his own works. I want to give the youth their freedom of expression...that we seem to have lost...
Most of all I hope that I can be a catalyst for positive change through this medium.

So help me God.